Global Warming Moves Santa Claus to the South Pole

17 01 2010

Most people don't realize it's not always frozen

 

Plight of the polar bears – we’ve all heard about it as a consequence of global climate change.  What a tragic fate to have the icy rug pulled out from under their feet…   

Of course there’s also the rise in ocean levels and the flooding of lowland areas the world over.  Countless species will be extinguished as a result and tens of millions of our own species will be flooded out of the areas they inhabit.  Starvation will run rampant as rice fields flood, etc.   

We’ve all heard of these things, but here’s another consequence of global climate change that I’ve not heard anyone mention: the loss of innocence.
Children old enough to use a map or do the most basic inquiry on the web will discover that there is no ice at the North Pole.  I’ve heard estimates that the North Pole will be completely ice free in the winter as early as 2030.  Imagine that for a minute.  The inner sanctum of Santa Claus must either be lashed to a raft, or moved to the South Pole (which actually has a landmass under it) in a project that would be worthy of a History Channel Mega-Movers special.   

So…  To all the right-wing nut cases out there who still deny global climate change (because they’ve aligned themselves with big religion which is used as a common street whore by the Republicans and the Republicans are sharing needles with big business which created the problem) need to either start writing another lie for their children, or start working towards a solution before it’s too late.   

Of course this is tongue in cheek…  I know it’s already too late.

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